I Really Am Yours, Eddie, Don't You Forget It
by ullabloom
Summary: As far as they're concerned, Eddie and Columbia are perfect for each other! But when the secret gets out...things spiral out of control...
1. Chapter 1-Over at the Frankenstein Place

**A-HEY HEY HEY, playas!**

**I'm baaacccck...after god knows how long! This is my first TRHPS fic, since I am now a crazy fangirl who's gonna dress up as Columbia next Halloween! WHATEVS! Okay, let's get this over with! enjoy! Happy reading!**

**Ullabloom**

* * *

9:00 AM

"COLUMBIA!"

"WHAT?"

"GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND MEET EDDIE!"

"WELL, THAT'S A NICE 'GOOD MORNING'!"

She dragged herself out of bed, and walked down the staircase. How she HATED having to get up early to meet one of Frank's _men. _

Her eyes were still half closed.

Frank shook his head, then turned to the stocky but well built man he had hired…

"Darling, isn't he a TRIUMPH?"

"Yeah, yeah…he's alright…he'll do…he's gorgeous…"

"COLUMBIA!"

She nearly jumped.

"Jesus Christ, Frank!"

He widened his eyes. "You are to apologize, and introduce yourself, politely, I MUST add, to our new hired help!"

"My god, Frankie, can't you just CALM DOWN?!"

"Must I use the whip?"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Do as I have asked! And I intend to have you acquaint him with the premises later on today!"

He left the laboratory, a well-lit one with pastel walls…not like the ones in those creature features.

Columbia opened her eyes all the way, and sighed. It was then when she looked at him for the first time…and she saw the definition of beauty!

His hair was wavy…he was tanned…his eyes were brown…a very dark brown…he wore a cheap-looking and dirty pleather jacket, a plain one…He wasn't skinny, and he wasn't fat…he was cute (WAY cute)…he was **_dreamy_**...he was taller than she was, but not as tall as Frank…he looked like something she had never seen before…broken…something she was herself.

"Wow…I mean…H-Hi…Uh…I'm sorry…I'm Columbia…and you're…Eddie?"

"Solid. Hiya, baby doll…"

An awkward silence passed…one that she didn't know how to end

"So…ya new 'round here?"

"Yep…I been workin' round Denton haulin' newspaper."

"Oh…that's nice…"

"Sure."

He gave her a playful wink.

Columbia did not do well in high-stress situations. The butterflies got the best of her…and she almost always ended up nearly dying of embarrassment…

"Well, uh…that's swell…see ya round the…place…welcome aboard!"

See you around the place?

_Just walk away, _she thought to herself.

And that was the shortest conversation of both their lives!

* * *

Back in her bedroom, she got out of her pajamas, took a shower, and thought about Eddie…and how she completely made a FOOL out of herself in front of him! She changed into her favorite outfit…sure, it made her look like a walking carnival, but it was HER!

And underneath it, she wore her favorite corset…just in case!

Magenta came barging in.

"WELL, Collie, you're up early!"

Typical Magenta. Always stating the obvious.

Columbia let out an annoyed sigh. "Yeah. You wanna make something of it?!"

"Temper, temper! I'm just _saying_!"

"Hmmm…"

"What's with the corset?" she started, putting on a fresh coat of lipstick…"British Red".

Magenta had it rough…waking up at 4 AM to get daily work done. It was like she never slept!

"Can you not? Please!"

"Not what?"

"Look at our camera while I'm getting dressed!"

"Fine."

She paused.

"But, seriously, though. Who's the guy?"

Columbia laughed. "What guy? It's not like a have a wide selection or nothin' like that…a GUY! Har-dee-har-har!"

"I don't know, Collie…you just seemed…elated! You know…excited…aroused…touched!"

"WHOA!"

They both started laughing uncontrollably.

"You mean…that I…no! Never!"

Magenta exited. "Sure!"

"Oh, just drop dead!"

The door slammed. Columbia looked at the top of Magenta's dresser, and grabbed a tube of her "Lustful Rust" lipstick. Surely, she wouldn't notice it! She hardly used it, anyway!

It didn't matter; she was clean, dressed, and ready for the day…ready to show her new co-worker the ropes!


	2. Chapter 2- Great When It All Began

**Hello, readers!**

**I got bored again, and I have no homework. SCORE. so...HAPPY READING!**

**Ullabloom**

* * *

"…And every bedroom has a bathroom with a working shower…"

Columbia was still showing Eddie around.

"And I room with Magenta, and Frank sleeps alone, and…I have no idea where Riff Raff's room is…"

Eddie seemed nervous as he spoke. "And…where…will I be sleeping…"

Columbia wasn't sure, but she'd assumed Frank would take him…typical.

"Oh, you'll be roomin' with Frankie…he always takes the new people!"

"_New _people?"

She started giggling.

"You'll figure it out soon enough! Well, I think that's about it. And every day, 'round noon, we meet in the dinin' room for lunch. I guess we still have 'bout an hour or so left!"

They heard someone beating a gong.

"COLUMBIA! YOU ARE THIRTEEN MINUTES LATE!"

She turned. "Aw, shoot! In a second, Magenta!"

Magenta peered at her over the railing of the stairs. "Columbia! Is that MY LIPSTICK?!"

"NO! LET'S GO, SWEETIE!"

* * *

Everyone was sitting down and staring at Eddie when they entered the dining room. Columbia looked down, but analyzed their expressions. Frank was studying him closely…Magenta was smirking, and trying hard not to burst out laughing…and Riff Raff still had on the same, blank look that had been stuck on his face for a long time…

They sat down at the table.

"We'll go…set up all the plates…" said Magenta, holding back giggles. Riff Raff followed her. Everyone could hear them howling in the corridor.

An awkward silence passed between the others at the table.

The siblings returned with a tray that had 5 large plates with tiny portions on them. Some sort of bland-looking bushmeat, and some endive salad or whatever it was on the side. They placed the plates in front of each diner. When everyone was settled, everyone stared at Frank.

He stood up, and proposed a toast, as he did at every meal.

"To our new guest…Eddie!"

"…to Eddie…" the others responded.

They ate in silence…since no one could think of anything to talk about...except Columbia, who desperately wanted to learn about this strange man who would be staying with them until...god knows how long!

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_ That Eddie is the cutest guy! Sure, he doesn't talk much, but he's still a hottie! He looks just like those biker guys they have pictures of in Fangirl Weekly! I used to think that Frank was the definition of sexy, but now…you know…_

_ What a day! Magenta figured out the lipstick was hers, so now, she's going on the "longest not-talking streak ever". Whatever! She doesn't even use that color anymore! You know how she gets…must be her period or something._

_ So anyway, lately, Frankie's been obsessing over those pictures in my magazines of men in swimsuits. What does that mean? What crazy idea does he have now? What, is he gonna make himself a man or something? HA! No! He isn't THAT crazy!_

_ Okay, now, back to Eddie! I gave him a tour of the castle today, and he seems like a GREAT listener. He seems to be a really understanding person. And really romantic. He seems like the type of guy who would serenade a girl with "American Pie" or something like that…maybe I'm wrong. I'll just have to wait and see! I'm pretty sure he's sleeping alone…not for long, if you know what I mean!_

…_I spoke too soon…I gotta go…foreplay with Frankie…do I have to? Grrr! See you soon,_

_Columbia, your owner_

_PS: I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST QUESTIONED FOREPLAY!_


End file.
